we had been partying at this place, this abandoned place just outside of town. we'd just started speaking to each other again. well, let me correct that, YOU had just started speaking to ME again. I'd kind of given up at this point. I knew that you knew how much you mean to me, how I felt. but still, you had made it perfectly clear to me that you didn't feel the same for me. not anymore anyway. but there we were, at 10 in the morning. the sun was shining as hard as it could. everybody was sitting outside on the parking lot, sipping on that last beer before grabbing a couch to sleep on. I was standing a few feet away from you, talking to a friend of ours. you looked at me and stretched your arms out. and there it was. that smile, those eyes that I hadn't seen since the last time I woke up at your place, before it all started. that smile and that look that I absolutely love the most about you. you gestured with your hand for me to give you a hug. I actually thought about it for a second. does he really mean me? I took those steps towards you and put my arms around your waist. you put your arms around me and buried your head in my neck. you put your lips close to my ear and whispered: are you alright? I thought about it... yes, I am now. just for this particular moment, not otherwise, but here in your arms...it couldn't be better. but my response came out as an coughing "uhuh". you pulled away, still hugging me though, and looked me in the eyes. "are you sure?". I could do nothing but smile and nod. for once, I wasn't lying. you gave me a kiss and then squeezed my hand before letting me go. dazzled I just went and laid down on a couch. just when I was about to fall a sleep I felt the couch moving. then there you were, crawling into the couch, yet again put your arms around me. I turned around so I was facing you, and yet again, put my arms around you too. you took a deep breath, made a short and very low giggle and then we both fell a sleep. and I woke up even more in love with you than I had ever been.
xx
Friday, September 27, 2013
another time.
that's what you said the first time. "another time, tomorrow. I'll tell you tomorrow."
the next time I asked. "another time, not when I'm drunk."
yet again I asked. no excuse this time, just still "another time."
I just kept on waiting for that "another time" to come.
"another time. you'll find out eventually."
"another time, obviously."
"can't you just let it go? we'll deal with this another time"
"another time, another time, another time."
now we both know that that "another time", was never gonna come.
xx
Thursday, September 26, 2013
soon time to visit ikea I think
xx
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
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