it's sneaking up again...

that annoying feeling. that uncomfortable, tingeling feeling in my entire body. when I just feel like crying but I can't even do that. It's just get harder and harder to breath for every minute that goes by. when I just wanna go away and at the same time just wanna stay home. when I just wanna do something, anything, but still just stay in bed and stare at the wall (or preferably a lit candle). when I feel like I have noone that actually cares about me, but so many that I care, maybe too much, about. when everything is right but still so wrong. when I can't tell if I'm angry, sad, happy, annoyed, tired. when I feel nothing, and everything at the exact same time.

haven't felt this feeling in over 5 months now. I don't wanna go back to that again. I can't handle going back to that again. I know I litteraly CAN'T go through that again.

I'm not an easily scared person in general, but this... I'm terrified.